As I try to understand why things happen to me,and as I hold on really tight to His word in which I am reminded that if I am one of those that love Him,then all things will work for good,I ask myself,is it comforting? Of course it is,but how easy is it to wait patiently to see what’s good in a situation? Not easy at all, that is when my overthinking takes control, when I play 100 different scenarios with 100 different outcomes,I end up mentally exhausted. Did I accomplish something? Not at all, oh wait, I did made myself weary and doubtful,I did cry myself to sleep, and I did place all of my dreams and goals on hold,because my brain can’t manage to work on something else while I wait.
As I get older I believed that learning from my mistakes,and waiting on God was going to be my first option always, but it hasn’t. I am a fixer and I know God has very important issues to take care of, so why should I bother Him with my silly problems ? Why should I be still, when I could be working finding a solution and come to God when it is a big deal only? Why can’t I help Him out a little bit ,and that way He can work on people with bigger problems? Well today,after a long day of getting crushed with words and actions that have reminded me that people won’t always see what is good in me,but they will for sure remember only those times when you did make mistakes,He reminded me that He does see the all of me,He knows that sin unfortunately is part of me being human and that He knows I will make mistakes . He values every single part of me and He sees my Godly virtues and my love for Him.
I came to terms that I will wait,even though is just harder now because I thought it was about to start getting easier since I am older hence I am more mature. I know He will show me all the good He worked in my favor,but He will do it in due time,in the perfect time,and meantime I will be grateful while I wait,I will cry but smile as I thank Him for wiping my tears,and I will love when I think I shouldn’t. I will get back up even when defeated ,I will not give up.
Different areas in our lives might not be good, tears can be my faithful companion at times and dreams might look so away that walking under a grey sky could become my lifestyle,I choose not to, because the joy of The Lord is my strength and I am not a coward,I will fight with a smile and never give up,He has never given up on me so why should I?
I was wishing the third post would be a story about how much more successful I am now, but it wasn’t at all, it was another lesson learned that I am sharing with you today. I know God is proud of me because I am not scared of being transparent, and allowing people to know how imperfect I am,His power will be manifested through my weaknesses. He will work it all for my benefit,and not because I love Him but because He loved me first.
It is hard to wait on Him specially when I know He is working on me,but what its quite easy, is knowing that His timing is always perfect and that no one else has loved me more.
In the Master's hands 